Categories: Cosmic Messengers
May the blessings of the Triple Gem be with you all!
Today, we will explore a profound and often confusing experience that can arise as you deepen your spiritual practice. As we progress on the path, cultivating both tranquility (Samatha) and insight (Vipassa
nā), we encounter various inner phenomena. One of the most compelling of these is the emergence of what we call samsaric bonds, powerful feelings of connection to people from our past lives.
This can happen to anyone engaged in sincere spiritual practice, whether you are following a specific tradition, a particular teacher, or even walking the path independently. It doesn’t matter which meditation technique you use, be it focusing on the third eye, mindfulness of breathing (Ānāpānasati), contemplation of the Buddha (Buddhānussati), or any other method. After practicing for some time, a particular kind of mental defilement, or kilesa, can arise in the mind: a defilement related to these very samsaric bonds.
The Whisper of the Mind: A Past-Life Connection?
This experience often begins subtly. Perhaps you remember a man or woman you were once fond of. As you meditate, your mind, now aware of your spiritual aspirations, might start to focus on this person. Then, a thought arises, a whisper from within: “She was your wife in a past life.” Or, for a woman, “He was your husband across lifetimes.”
This is one of the first and most common defilements to appear for many practitioners. Initially, you might not believe it or try to dismiss it. But a part of you might feel a pleasant sensation, a subtle joy, “Ah, they are a soul from my past!”, and you might want to hold onto that feeling just a little.
Though your primary thought is to reject it, this small attraction allows the seed of this idea to take root. Over time, this thought doesn’t just fade away; it returns, growing stronger with each appearance. Gradually, you begin to fall for it, and the idea solidifies: “This person is my past-life partner.” This is the trap of these so-called samsaric bonds.
The Downward Spiral: From Practice to Worldly Entanglement
Once this belief is established, your focus shifts. You start investigating this person, consumed by the idea of your shared past. Many at this stage try to develop the psychic ability to recall past lives (known in Buddhism as Pubbe nivāsanussati ñāna). However, such higher knowledges or spiritual abilities (pañca abhiññā) can never be attained when motivated by a defilement. As I always say, defilements must either be suppressed or completely eradicated for true progress to occur.
Still, the practitioner continues, meditating on one hand while obsessing over the connection on the other. Eventually, the obsession intensifies. They might tell their friends, “This person is my past-life partner.” In some cases, they contact the person directly, confessing this profound feeling.
If a relationship forms, the spiritual practice inevitably begins to suffer. The time spent meditating dwindles, replaced by romantic attachment and eventually even physical intimacy. The person is pulled back into the world of sensual desire (the Kāma Loka).
This is a common experience. Some have already faced this, been defeated, and are now trying to start again. Others are going through it right now, and for some, it is yet to come. Does it happen to everyone? No, but it is a very common test on the path. Understanding these potential pitfalls is crucial if you wish to navigate your spiritual journey without getting caught in these alluring samsaric bonds.
Insight vs. Tranquility: Two Ways of Facing the Challenge
This experience can happen to practitioners of both insight (Vipassanā) and tranquility (Samatha) meditation. However, their ways of handling it differ greatly.
- A Samatha practitioner, focused on developing concentration and attaining meditative states (jhāna), might not see this thought as a defilement. They may get caught in the story, believing it to be a real mystical insight.
- A Vipassanā practitioner, however, is trained to observe the nature of the mind. Their goal is to uproot defilements. They would see this thought arise and recognize it clearly: “Ah, this is a defilement appearing in my mind as attachment, disguised as a past-life connection.” By seeing it with mindfulness for what it is, a mental event, a kilesa, they can let it go without getting entangled.
This highlights the power of a balanced practice. The approach that combines both, known as Yuganaddha (the unified path), is particularly effective. By cultivating both calm and insight, one can remain stable while clearly seeing the nature of such experiences, making it easier to overcome them.
The Tempter’s Game: The Influence of Māra
We must also understand the role of the tempter, Māra. In Buddhist philosophy, Māra represents the forces that obstruct enlightenment. Out of the five types of Māra, four are internal processes within our own mind and body (defilements, death, the aggregates of clinging, and karmic formations). But there is also an external force, known as Māra Divyaputta, a celestial being who actively works to derail spiritual practitioners.
This external Māra can plant such thoughts in your mind. Imagine you are walking down the street and see an attractive person. An opportunity to speak with them arises. At that moment, Māra can inject a thought: “This is your soulmate from past lives.” People in the West might call this a ‘Twin Flame.’ Māra sees your vulnerability and amplifies this defilement, using the four internal Māras within your own mind to trap you.
If Māra succeeds, he will do everything possible to pull you away from your spiritual practice. He might orchestrate a marriage, immerse you in sensual pleasures, and completely ruin you, a state we might describe as being made ‘pajatha’, or utterly corrupted.
You might become so burdened with responsibilities that you can never meditate again, or suffer such heartbreak that you become consumed by regret, sometimes even leading to destructive actions. This is why wisdom is essential to see through these deceptions.
When Connections are Real: The Role of Benevolent Beings
On the other hand, not all such encounters are delusions or traps. Sometimes, you might meet genuine samsaric bonds. This can happen through your own developed spiritual faculties or through the help of benevolent beings. We sometimes speak of ‘Cosmic Agents’ (Vishwa Niyojithayin) or beings of ‘Right View’ (Sammā Diṭṭhika), deities, celestial beings, or even brahmas who support the Dhamma. These beings may sometimes facilitate a meeting with someone from your past, like a former spouse, parent, or child.
This is particularly relevant for those on a long spiritual journey, such as Bodhisattvas, beings aspiring to Buddhahood, who have made vows across many lifetimes. These benevolent beings might reintroduce you to past connections, but their intention is never to pull you back into worldly entanglement. It is crucial, even for these practitioners, not to become overly attached. Māra can still exploit a genuine connection and turn it into a source of destruction.
The Ultimate Test: Does It Deepen or Destroy Your Practice?
So, how can you tell the difference between a genuine, supportive connection and a destructive trap? The test is simple and absolute: Does this connection enhance or degrade your spiritual practice?
A true, spiritually aligned connection, whether facilitated by benevolent beings or arising from your own karma, will always support your path. It will:
- Strengthen your virtue (sīla).
- Deepen your concentration (samādhi).
- Sharpen your wisdom (paññā) and insight.
- Inspire you to practice more, not less.
Conversely, if you notice that after meeting this person your spiritual life begins to decline, your virtue weakens, your meditation time shortens, your concentration falters, and you become more worldly, then you can be certain. This is not a true past-life connection meant to help you. It is either a defilement from your own mind, a deception created by Māra, or a combination of both. This is a clear sign that you are dealing with one of Māra’s disguises, and you must recognize it as such.
The Wisdom of a Bodhisattva: Love Without Clinging
For those on a very long-term path, like Bodhisattvas, handling these samsaric bonds requires great wisdom. When a Bodhisattva meets their past consort, they do not get entangled in romance. True love, in this context, is providing the necessary guidance and support at the right time from a respectful distance.
There is no need for constant calls or meetings. Both individuals understand their shared higher purpose and work towards it with discipline and clarity. Their connection is not like the dramatic, clinging love stories seen in movies; it is a planned, purposeful journey of perfecting virtues (pāramitā) together across lifetimes.
If a connection inspires you to seek power, wealth, or status, for example, if someone says, “You should become a king and make me your queen”, this is not a spiritual connection. It is rooted in craving (taṇhā) for power and sensual pleasure. True spiritual guidance only ever points you toward purifying the mind.
A Grave Warning: Do Not Destroy Others’ Lives
This brings us to a very serious warning. Sometimes, the person you believe to be your past-life partner is already married and has a family. I must state this forcefully: you must not, under any circumstances, disrupt another person’s family life. To do so is to create immense negative karma (akusala), a heavy burden that will bring you great suffering. This path is filled with harsh and painful lessons.
Even the consorts of great Bodhisattvas are sometimes married to others in certain lifetimes. Life does not follow the simple, romantic scripts of novels and films. Those on a long spiritual journey have developed the mental fortitude to face such challenges. If you are tempted to interfere in someone’s life, it is a sign your own virtues are not yet strong enough. Understand this and act with great care.
The Path to Freedom: Kick Away All Attachments
Finally, the ultimate advice is this: whatever connections you encounter, whatever samsaric bonds appear, they are ultimately irrelevant to your liberation. The Buddha taught that in the vastness of our past lives, there is no one who has not been our mother, father, or relative at some point. Every being is connected to us. The goal is not to re-forge old attachments but to transcend them all.
Therefore, you must metaphorically kick them away. Let go of all these stories and distractions. If you have a duty to your country, religion, or community, focus on that. If your goal is to end the cycle of suffering in this very lifetime, focus on that. Use your energy to develop tranquility and insight, to realize freedom. Do not try to validate these feelings by consulting fortune-tellers or occultists; this only invites more interference from Māra and leads to your ruin.
See any such experience with mindfulness. Test it over months or years. If it strengthens your practice without creating attachment, it is wholesome. If it weakens you, it is a poison. But the highest path is to release them all and walk towards freedom, unburdened. By understanding these truths, may you develop the wisdom to navigate your spiritual journey correctly.
Conclusion
May the power and blessings of the Buddha, the Dhamma, and the Sangha, the Triple Gem, help you to understand these matters clearly and to develop your spiritual path with correct understanding. Travel safely in all your journeys.
We invite you to walk this path with us. Read our teachings, and most importantly, apply them practically in your own life. as you practice, questions will naturally arise. Please feel free to share your experiences and questions in the comments below, via email or contact form. I will do my best to offer guidance in future talks based on your progress. For now, begin this practice with an open heart and a mind free from expectation. Cultivate it correctly, and may you find the clarity and peace you seek.
Thank you for joining us. We hope this blog will be of great benefit to your spiritual journey.
May you all be well and happy.
May the blessings of the Triple Gem be with you all!.
