Categories: Other Meditation Teachings
May the blessings of the Triple Gem be with you all!
Today, I wish to offer some guidance on a problem that affects everyone, whether you are advanced on a spiritual path or just beginning. It’s a question I receive often from people both here in Sri Lanka and from those living abroad. They say, “Venerable Sir, I face immense pressure and problems at my workplace, at my school, within my family, or from relatives, friends, and neighbors. They create all kinds of stress for me, to the point where I feel like giving up on my job, my studies, or even life itself. I want to change my location, but sometimes, my circumstances make that impossible.”
This feeling is universal and not limited to any religion or nationality, as these questions come from people of all backgrounds. Because so many of you face this, I wanted to provide a single answer that everyone can use. So, let’s explore a practical solution together.
The Solution: A Focused Loving-Kindness Meditation
When you face constant harassment or pressure, be it at work, school, or even in your own home from a sibling, parent, or neighbor, there is one powerful thing you can do. The solution lies in a specific application of what we call Metta Bhavana, or loving-kindness meditation.
In our previous teachings, such as the “Third Eye Metta Bhavana,” we have discussed how this practice helps spiritual seekers on their journey. It helps to balance one’s environment, remove obstacles from unseen forces, and develop deep states of concentration, known as jhana.
Many people have practiced these methods and achieved wonderful results, advancing on their spiritual path. This approach is also helpful for those dealing with issues related to non-human entities, or amanussa, which we’ve covered in our teachings on “Solutions for Non-Human Problems.”
Rather than repeating those general teachings, I want to show you how to adapt this powerful loving-kindness meditation specifically for the challenges we are discussing today.
A Practical Guide: How to Target Your Practice
Let’s use your workplace as an example. It doesn’t matter what your age is, or the age, gender, or position of the person causing you difficulty. If there is one specific person who consistently harasses you, this is what you do:
- When to Practice: Every morning right after you wake up, and every evening just before you go to sleep.
- How to Practice: Sit in a comfortable meditation posture with your back straight. Close your eyes.
- The Focus: Bring to mind a clear image of this one person. For a dedicated period, it could be fifteen, twenty, thirty minutes, or even an hour, focus solely on them.
- The Words of Kindness: As you hold their image in your mind, repeat phrases of loving-kindness until they become familiar and steady. You can use phrases like:
“May you be free from suffering. May you be healthy. May you be well.”
Then, direct the thoughts specifically in relation to yourself:
“May you have no hatred towards me. May you have no anger towards me. May you have no jealousy towards me.”
Send these mental energies, these thought-rays (chitta kirana), directly to that person. Conclude by wishing: “May you, too, understand these truths, understand this pressure, and progress on the path to ultimate liberation (Nibbana).” Focus this entire session of loving-kindness meditation only on them. With time, you will begin to notice the results for yourself.
What If It’s More Than One Person?
Perhaps it is not just one individual but two, three, or even a whole group of people at your workplace causing you distress. In that case, the method is the same, but you expand your focus. In the morning and evening, bring the entire group into your mind’s eye.
Hold the image of that collective group and direct the same words of loving-kindness meditation towards all of them. Again, do this without setting a strict time limit. Simply engage in the practice using these phrases. For more detailed guidance on the specific words and their deeper meaning, you can explore our teachings in the “Third Eye Practical Meditation” series, particularly the one titled “Third Eye Metta Bhavana.” As you continue this practice, you will start to perceive a tangible change in your environment.
The Broad Power of This Practice
This method is not just for workplace conflicts. It is equally effective for:
- Students: For children in school or university facing bullying or pressure.
- Parents: For parents experiencing difficulties with their children.
- Children: For adult children feeling pressure from their parents or siblings.
- Neighbors: For anyone dealing with conflict with those living nearby.
Remember this well. If a person, or even an unseen entity that you have identified, a non-human being, eis consistently causing you trouble, you can use this targeted loving-kindness meditation. Even if your third eye is not awakened, you can still form a mental image of this being and direct your loving-kindness towards it. Many have practiced this and seen results.
Furthermore, if you are a business owner or an employer and find that your employees lack trustworthiness, you can practice loving-kindness towards them. When you consistently direct these positive thoughts to those who work under you, you may find they naturally become more obedient and aligned with your words. This is another dimension of the practice to understand and explore.
From Words to the Heart: The Gradual Unfolding of Kindness
Now, you might hear some people who sound very knowledgeable say, “Loving-kindness must come from the heart!” and other such grand statements. I want to remind you that true, spontaneous loving-kindness does not arise in the heart all at once. It is very rare.
Think of a mother’s love for her child at birth. That deep affection arises instantly and naturally from her heart because the child grew within her. That is the kind of immediate feeling we are aiming for. But for most of us, with most people, it does not happen that way. You arrive at that heartfelt state by first practicing with words. You practice, and you practice, and you practice. Eventually, a time comes when you no longer need to recite the words, because the feeling of loving-kindness flows effortlessly from your heart.
Until you reach that stage, use the words as your tool. As you do, you will find your environment balancing itself out. This is why we often advise you not to pay attention to the words of those who lack practical experience in these matters. Simply focus on your practice.
Facing the Fire: What to Do When Anger Arises
Let’s be honest. When you first try to send loving-kindness to someone you are in conflict with, your ‘enemy’, it can be incredibly difficult. You may find that instead of kindness, intense anger arises. This is an important moment. It shows you just how much anger is already inside your mind.
When this happens, you can use the teachings on mindfulness of thoughts to understand the anger without being consumed by it. Acknowledge the thought of anger, see it for what it is, and then gently return to the practice. In the beginning, it might feel like you are forcing it, but if you persist, you can cool down that mind which feels like a red-hot iron ball. Just as water cools hot iron, this practice will soothe your mind.
It is very difficult at first to wish well for someone who causes you harm, because anger is the immediate reaction. But as you train yourself, suddenly, you will feel a shift. A lightness will emerge, and you will know it. As you become lighter, genuine loving-kindness will begin to arise. And then, you will be able to perceive the change in the other person as well.
Patience and Persistence: The Key to Results
A final, crucial point: do not set a rigid timeline for this practice. Don’t ask, “How long should I do it each day?” or “How many weeks or months until it works?” If you can practice for twenty, thirty minutes, or even an hour, that is excellent. But don’t worry about the clock.
Similarly, don’t think, “Should I do this for a week? A month and a half? Two months?” Let go of that deadline. Simply make it a part of your daily routine. Continue the practice every day until your problems are resolved. Keep going until you see the results for yourself. If you do this with persistence, you will be able to understand its power and experience the positive outcome you seek, often very quickly.
A Final Word and Blessing
I believe I have provided the essential guidance you need to begin this transformative practice. If you have other questions, you are welcome to share them, and I will try to address them in a future teaching for the benefit of all.
I receive a great many questions through our channels and am often busy with spiritual duties, so I ask for your patience. I do my best to answer as many as I can, either through public teachings like this or individually when possible. With that reminder, we will conclude today’s teaching.
May the power and blessings of the Buddha, the Dhamma, and the Sangha, the Triple Gem, give you the strength and clarity to understand these matters well and to act upon them skillfully. May you all be well.
We invite you to walk this path with us. Read our teachings, and most importantly, apply them practically in your own life. as you practice, questions will naturally arise. Please feel free to share your experiences and questions in the comments below, via email or contact form. I will do my best to offer guidance in future talks based on your progress. For now, begin this practice with an open heart and a mind free from expectation. Cultivate it correctly, and may you find the clarity and peace you seek.
Thank you for joining us. We hope this blog will be of great benefit to your spiritual journey.
May you all be well and happy.
May the blessings of the Triple Gem be with you all!.
May the blessings of the Triple Gem be with you all!
